I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
there was a trapeze. enough said
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
