Already got asked if we're dating
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
