wrigley field is MILF paradise
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize