Your tits are I can't wait for
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
