no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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