I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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