You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
