just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
