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Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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