It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
