You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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