Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
