I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
