All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
