Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize