What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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