she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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