I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
