I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
