so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
