i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
is it fun? or sober?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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