Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
