Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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