i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
