Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
