Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
