new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
