For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
is wine microwaveable?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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