thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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