and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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