Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
