ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize