Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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