You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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