so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
