I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
