this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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