And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
