speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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