This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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