I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize