i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
