If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
