Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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