Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
