My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
