dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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