glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
