So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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