can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
