I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
