wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
