well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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