I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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