Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I had to cum in my sink.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
