who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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