Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
