i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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